A few people have asked me to start this one, so here it goes. Let's share what we've heard our kids, our nephews/nieces or other kids say.
But you have to have actually heard it. None of that "my cousin's brother's friend said his girlfriend heard a kid say..." stuff.
Here are two from Samantha, my 5yo:
Church minister: So you see kids, David didn't need swords, shields, spears or armor to defeat Goliath! All he needed was God!
Samantha: And a slingshot.
Me (quietly to Samantha): Good point.
Me, playing with my son Jack: I'm gonna bonk your head! (I bonk it) I'm gonna bonk your nose! (I do) I'm gonna bonk your shoulder! (done)
Samantha: Bonk his penis!
Samantha, quieter, sheepishly: Bonk his penis?
Me: I don't think so.