Background: I'm out of shape (about 40 pounds overweight, not a lot of energy, not very strong) and trying to get in shape for really the first time, and using New Rules of Lifting for Women to do it. This is my second attempt; with the first I was going strong until my workplace hit crisis mode with the economic downturn, and then the stress and insecurity of that got me off-track.
In addition to being physically out of shape for years and years, I've also never had the best mental health. Bouts of major depression, constant anxiety, episodes of racing thoughts, lack of focus, low self-esteem... you can package these symptoms into different disorders, and different therapists have done so, and they seem not to agree with each other. But basically I'm your basic sensitive/creative type with way too much emotional lability and difficulty focusing on one thing at a time.
Here's my problem: Both times I've attempted NROLW, it's helped tremendously with the depression, but has kicked me into a state of anxiety and hypomania. I can't seem to sleep soundly, I wake up a lot, I feel panicky in my chest, I'm even more sensitive to criticism (real or imagined) than usual, my thoughts go in twenty directions at once, and I can't just say "I need to get this done" and then do it. On the other hand, I'm getting these bursts of creativity with my writing and with some art projects I've been working on. All in all, it's better than depression, but I'd still like to just be even and normal-feeling. The one medication that has ever made me feel just *normal* (not racing, not depressed, not deadened, just focused and able to handle stuff) was Restoril, which I take very rarely to help me sleep. But since that's a narcotic I don't want to rely on it.
In fairness, this last bout of racing thoughts and jitters has coincided with the time I'd expect to get PMS, so that's certainly a factor.
For supplements, I'm taking N-Acetylcysteine for the intrusive thoughts and general mental health; a supplement for joint health; and vitamin C with the NAC. I know I should be taking fish oil, but I haven't had a chance to go to the health food store yet. I will do so this weekend.
I really want to get *healthy*, physically and mentally. Can anyone point me in a good direction? Thank you in advance!